On Iceblocks and Family
by greysky-chan
Summary: NejiTen. Neji is an iceblock, plain as that. And what happens when Tenten finds out she's not an orphan after all? Chaos, pure and simple. I SUCK AT SUMMARIES, please review. T for minor language...and other crap...
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Naruto I own not. Although if I did, Shikamaru would always do my math homework.

This is my first multi-chapter fanfic, so please reveiw. And don't stop reading because I typed that.

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Tenten walked into her simple, yet elegant home. She tossed her jacket aside and rubbed the several bruises she had aquired, courtesy of Hyuuga Neji. _I need to stop training for a day or two to let myself heal. _

She walked into her kitchen and began to make some coffee. She grabbed the latest issue of the newspaper and flipped straight to the comics.

Tenten LOVED the comics. Not that she felt that she needed ANY comic relief for her life- being on a team with Rock Lee and Neji was enough.

Although most people classified Neji as a cold-hearted bastard, Tenten found him absolutely hilarious. _I mean, I guess most of them haven't seen the way people look when he uses his Death Glare on them. They look like they're gonna piss their pants! _

**That's right. Also most people aren't as adept at speaking and translating Prodigy Language as we are.**

_Who the hell are you?_

**What are you talking about? It's me, Inner Tenten!**

_I thought I drove you away YEARS ago!_

**That's what YOU thought. Ya, I've been hanging out with all the other Inner Selves that got driven away… and I'll say Inner Neji plays a MEAN game of Texas Hold'em!**

Tenten's eye twitched. _So how did you get back in? And why?_

**Heh. That's something for me to know, and you to find out. I wonder how Neji is doing with his new Inner Self….**

* * *

Neji sneezed. His maid gave him a funny look from where she was dusting his bookshelf. 

"Someone must be talking about you, Neji-san." She said, waving the duster at him with a smile.

"No one is talking about me. The dust from that rag you _insist_ on waving around is making me sneeze." He said coldly. The smile faded from her face.

"Gomen nasai, Neji-san. It won't happen again."

"Hn. Get out of my room." Neji snarled, "You are a worthless old hag. Never come back." He shot her a Death Glare.

Working at the Hyuuga compound, you'd think she was used to such things. Well, maybe not.

"H- hai… N-Neji-san…" she sobbed, running from the room.

_Finally I can be alone, in peace. _He thought to himself.

**Alone? **

_Hn? Who are you?_

**Why, it's ME, Inner Neji! And don't you think you were a LITTLE hard on that maid? Maybe someone WAS talking about you.**

_"Inner Neji", huh? So I have one of those? And sneezing when you are spoken of is an old wives' tale. There is no such thing. It was the maid's fault._

**Wow, you ARE a bastard! Inner Tenten was right about you! You need some work before…**

_Before…? " Inner Tenten"?_

… **Forget it.**

* * *

Hiashi watched with a sigh as the maid flew out of Neji's room. _That's the third one this week, _he thought to himself. _We'll never be able to hire anyone else for my nephew... have I done such a bad job raising him? He is really IS cold hearted... no. That's not true. What Neji needs is someone or somthing to melt him..._

_What Neji needs is…_

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Okay that's all for now. Hope that's not too much of a cliffy. Please **review**, or I won't continue. You guys even want more? Not much storyline in this chappie, I was just making the base for all the others. 


	2. Chapter 2

Okay here we are, the second chappie. PLEASE REVIEW! And special thanks to WeaponsMistress.. MY FIRST REVIEWER! THANX SO MUCH!!

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**Heh. That's something for me to know, and you to find out. I wonder how Neji is doing with his new Inner self….**

_His came back, too?_

**It sure did. Good ol' Inner Neji and me go way back, so when I found a way back into your head, I found the way to Neji for him!**

_That was…. Nice of you?_

**Oh, yes! We are VERY generous when it comes to hot men, my dear.**

Tenten's eye twitched. _Neji… 'Hot man'? _

**… Oh … that's right. Pretend I didn't say that, dear.**

_Umm…. _Tenten was drawn from her thoughts by the monotonous bleeping of her coffee pot. Getting up with a sigh, she grabbed a coffee cup and some sugar and cream. She mixed them with the hand of an expert.

_The perfect cup of coffee, _she thought smugly to herself.

**I must agree.**

_Shut up, weirdo._

**Hey! When you call ME a weirdo, you call yourself a weirdo. Hey! Do you hear that?**

_I won't be able to hear ANYTHING if you don't SHUT UP, asshole!_

**Hey! Fine, be that way!**

_Knock, Knock._ Tenten finally realized what the sound was, and rushed for her door. _Kami-sama, who's knocking on the door at this hour? It's nearly 11:00! If it was Neji or Lee, they would just use their keys… _

"I'm coming! Just a minute!" she cried. Her voice rang through the hallway in front of her. Her bare feet made a dull _thwap _on the wooden floor every time she put her feet down.

Finally she reached the tall, plain wood door. She pulled it open. "Hello? Do I know you…?" she said inquisitively once she determined it was not a hostile shinobi, or in this case, a kunochi.

The woman standing in the doorway looked slightly familiar, in a distant, dusty sort of way… Her sky blue eyes complimented the red-brown of her long, flowing hair.

"Hello!" the woman cried as if greeting an old friend. She took a step toward the weapons mistress.

"Hold it. I don't know who you think you are, but you obviously have the wrong person. There is a store where you can buy a map one street left, or a crazy house two streets north, if you prefer. I don't want to see you again." The kunochi stated firmly and shut the door hard.

_Jeez, some people, _she thought as she headed to bed, ignoring the insistent nagging of her inner self and the urgent knocks on the door.

Collapsing in bed, she fell straight to sleep. _Training with Neji in the morning…. He drives me so hard. _Her last thought was …that she really didn't mind.

**

* * *

She just won't listen, thought Inner Tenten irritably. Am I that stubborn? Nah… well anyway, I'm sure Kanako will be more insistent than Tenten is stubborn. Inner Neji…? Ready for our meeting? We have our plans to discuss.**

**A bit later**, he replied. **Outer Neji just REFUSES to go to sleep.**

**Okay then… say 1:00?** Inner Tenten offered.

**No problem** was the reply.

* * *

Neji lay on his bed, staring into the darkness overhead. _Maybe I was to hard on the maid… _Neji would never admit it, but it hurt him to see people sob like the maid had. Especially women. As much as he hated the fact, and tried to avoid showing it on the outside, he was not a cold-hearted bastard. But it was so much easier for him just to except the prodigy stereotype that the general public had gotten from Uchiha Sasuke.

With a sigh, he decided he would shower before he slept. Grabbing a towel and his Herbal Essence _AN: he uses mint scent… and I made that up)_, he headed for the shower.

Tenten was woken up by her alarm. Kami-sama. It was LOUD. Obnoxious. And kunai-proof. She had gotten the virtually indestructible clock from Gai-sensei, who had proclaimed that timeliness was youthfulness. Then he and Lee had done the hug routine with a huge sunset in the background.

Tenten shuddered at the memory. No, her life would never be boring.

Jumping out of her bed, she got ready to go, strapping on her kunai pouch and grabbing a quick bowl of her Special- K. Then she left, locking the door behind her. She didn't notice the shadowy form trailing her to the training grounds...

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AN: I write rather short chapters, but I like to upload more than one at the same time. So don't worry, I update the same amount of writing, just divided into more chapters.

Also, is it good? I need your review! This is my first multi-chap fanfic, and I need help! So tell me! If it sucks, tell me why! Please?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: Naruto I own not. If I did, Temari would fan me when I got hot.

* * *

Jumping out of her bed, she got ready to go, strapping on her kunai pouch and grabbing a quick bowl of her Special- K. Then she left, locking the door behind her. She didn't notice the shadowy form trailing her to the training grounds...

Tenten rushed to get to the training ground by 7:00 am, the time that Neji had specified. By the time she got to the customary meeting point in the Forest of Death, she was out of breath.

**Jeez, girl, you need to work out more! Out of breath? It was only 5 miles… Kami-sama!**

_Shut up, you bitch. You don't even HAVE a body, so you can't talk._

**Hey! My body is your body! And speaking of body, you are never gonna catch Neji if you keep your boobs bound! C' mon, girl! You only wear a C anyway, no need to bind yourself!**

Tenten's eye twitched. _Catch…. Neji?_

**Umm . . . that's right . . . Just ignore that.**

Trying to avoid thinking about that, she looked around the training ground. And… _can it be?_

_Kami-sama . . ._

And it was true. For the first time in his life, the cold prodigy, the Byakugan user, the subject of a fanclub… and most importantly, the timeliest man in all Konoha…

WAS LATE!

* * *

Neji woke up, looking at the clock. What he saw shocked him. IT WAS 7:05!_ Oh Kami-sama I am FIVE MINUTES late!_ He leapt out of bed, taking it double speed. He hoped that Tenten would be late as usual today…

* * *

Tenten heard rustling in the bush behind her. She frowned. _Neji is usually quieter than this… I guess he's worried because he's late…_

"Come on out, and let's start training." She said calmly, "I already know you're late."

Neji stood up, out of the bushes. Tenten could only see his silhouette against the rising sun. _Wait… why did Neji have boobs?_

**OH KAMI-SAMA! HYUUGA NEJI CONVERTED INTO A GIRL!!!! HE HAS BOOBS BIGGER THAN OURS!!!**

_Shut up, baka! That's NOT Neji!_

**Oh…**

"Who are you? And what do you want?" Tenten snarled. The figure stood up straighter.

"Tenten?" Called the woman. The woman Tenten now recognized as the one knocking on the door last night. "Tenten, it's ME!"

"And who is me?" Tenten answered warily. This was a common trick used by ninja.

"It's me! Remember? Kanako!"

The name struck something in Tenten. "Kanako…." She murmured.

The memories came back in a flood. _Playing in the stream with a blue-eyed girl beside her… who shook the water from her red-brown hair with a grin… being called home by their mother… people had always said Tenten took after the father, Kanako the mother…_

"Freeze." A voice growled from behind Kanako, Tenten's older sister. There stood Hyuuga Neji.

**

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AN: Right, this was a short chapter because I wanted it to end right there. A nice 'lil cliffie for y'all!**

PLEASE review. I REALLY need it. If you review (like my very favorite WeaponsMistress) I will try to continue this breakneck pace of 3 chappies a day… if you want. I like to write 1.5 pages each chappie.

Also, no offense to those that wear a C-cup. No offense. That is NOT small, Inner Tenten is just greedy.


	4. Chapter 4

Naruto I own not. If i did, Naruto would be my pet fox/kittycat.

* * *

"Freeze." A voice growled from behind Kanako, Tenten's older sister. There stood Hyuuga Neji.

He held two fingers across Kanako's throat. Tenten knew that if he sent a chakra burst through those fingers right now, Kanako would be dead.

"No! Neji, don't." she said calmly, trusting that Neji would listen to her.

"Who is she. Why is she here." Neji said, making them less questions and more statements.

"Let me go RIGHT NOW." Kanako inserted. She sounded not pleading, or tragic, but pissed. "You can't kill me with just two fingers anyway."

Anger shone in Neji's eyes. _She DARES to question my abilities? Well then…_

"I'll have to show you." Neji finished his thought aloud.

"NO! Neji, that's my older sister! DON'T hurt her! She doesn't know what she's saying!" Tenten said sharply. "She doesn't know."

Neji thought about it. _Hmm. My pride, or my teammate? Tenten… well… _

"Fine." He growled. He released Kanako and slid around her so that he was now behind Tenten, in the trees. He decided that he still didn't trust Kanako.

**

* * *

Why not?**

_Hn. You again?_

**Humph. Nice greeting, asshole. SOME people would have said "Oh, hello Inner Me, what's up?" but NO! Anyway, why not trust Kanako? **

_Why trust her?_

**Tenten does.**

_And…?_

**You trust Tenten, and she trusts Kanako, so shouldn't you trust Kanako?**

_Your logic escapes me…_

**Hmm. Jeez, you really need some work. I'll be back.**

_What? Where are you going?_

_Hello?_

_Hn._

* * *

Kanako stared at Tenten, her dear little sister. And then glanced with interest at the blind man who had pressed two fingers to her throat as a THREAT.

"So… now that that's done… SISSY!" she shrieked, hurling herself at Tenten.

Tenten hugged her back.

"Kanako! I didn't even remember you until just now… how??" Tenten said shakily.

Kanako grinned. "Well, it was a really long time ago… you were 5 and I was 6 last time I saw you. I only remember because mom and dad STILL talk about you."

Tenten was silent. Dead silent. "My parents…are still alive…?

"Yes, silly… after their "Death" they ran away with you and me! Only.. on the way… you got lost in the crowd. We looked and looked… but we couldn't find you. I thin-"

Her sentence was interrupted by a green streak flying into the clearing.

"NEJI! TENTEN!!" He cried. "HAVE YOU FORGOTTEN IN YOUR YOUTHFULNESS? Today is the Rookie 9 party!" _(AN: It's kinda like a high school reunion thing) _

"WAIT… WHO IS THIS????" Lee cried, pointing at Kanako.

"This is my older sister, Kanako."

Dead silence. Then, "KANAKO!!! IT IS YOUTHFUL TO MEET YOU!! I AM ROCK LEE, GREEN BEAST OF KONOHA!"

"Umm… hello, Lee?"

"HELLO! Oh! YES! There's Gai-sensei!" Lee said pointing to an identical streak of green in the distance.

Gai landed beside Lee. "Hello, youthful flower!" he said to Kanako, "I am-"

"No time for introductions. We are going to be late for the Rookie 9 party." Neji cut in.

"What about Kanako?" Tenten said worriedly to him, "I guess I'll just stay here with her."

"NO. If I have to go, you have to go. She can come with us." Neji insisted.

"Okay then…" Tenten said gratefully.

**Are you sure it's a good idea to bring as non-ninja to a ninja party?**

She'll be fine… she IS my sister.

**Okay then… but don't say I didn't warn you…**

* * *

What does happen when you bring a non-ninja to a ninja reunion? All hell breaks loose.

* * *

Okay! There we go! My before- breakfast chapter. I may update a little late to day, my family is putting up the Christmas tree and stuff. This is 2 pages, not 1.5! Hooray! I didn't really like this chapter though… what do you think?

Click that little purple 'GO' button… you know you want to…


	5. Chapter 5

**AN:** Naruto I own not. If I did, Shino's bugs would help me cheat on my science test.

Oh, and Texas Hold'em is nothing bad… tricked you, didn't I? It is just a gambling game… KIND OF like poker…

**I'm SO sorry for disabling anonymous reviews! I didn't realize I had done it… I'm so sorry and thank you Lone Wolf for telling me!**

* * *

What happens when you bring a non-ninja to a ninja reunion? All hell breaks loose.

* * *

Kanako grinned. "So I get to come to the party? Are you sure? I can stay here by myself, you know… I don't want to be a burden." 

"Of course not!" Tenten said with a smile. "You're my SISTER!"

**So now you're going to use that word as much as possible, huh?**

_Hell ya. Got something to say about it, bitch?_

**Hey, watch it, girl! Remember I AM YOU! Do I have to spell it out for ya? I A-M-**

_Shut up! _

**Fine, then! I'll go hang with Inner Neji.**

_Good!_

**

* * *

Inner Neji: So you got kicked out, too, Inner Tenten? **

**Inner Tenten: Yes…. I am SO mad! **

**Inner Neji: Hn. Get over it. **

**Inner Tenten: Wait…. I have a plan that just might work… **

* * *

Neji looked impatiently at the sun, predicting the time of day. _Hn. It is 7:52 and 31.2 milliseconds… time to leave. Now if I could just get rid of Lee and Gai… we might get there in __time._

"Lee, Gai-sensei… Tenten said, "I think I saw a nest of squirrels that was about to fall into the river!"

"OH NO!" cried Lee, "NOT THE SQUIRRELS! Oh, I know! Why don't Gai-sensei and I take the river path and save the squirrels! Since Kanako might not be able to do that, Neji and Tenten can take the path through town with her!"

"GREAT IDEA, LEE!" Gai cried.

"THANKS, GAI-SENSEI!" Lee replied.

"LEE!"

"GAI-SENSEI!"

"LEE!"

"GAI SENSEI!!"

A sunset background appeared and a huge wave splashed up from the non-existent ocean.

Kanako's eye twitched. She just stood petrified, as was the usual response for the first time seeing this.

Grabbing her, Neji scampered away into the trees, with Tenten close behind.

**

* * *

**

**Inner Neji: ****You're right…that's an excellent plan… should teach them a lesson, as well as helping with our ultimate goal… I have to admit, you're a clever one…**

**Inner Tenten: Why thank you, Inner Neji. Up for a game of Texas Hold'em?**

**Inner Neji: Anytime.**

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AN: This chappie was a bit shorter than usual, I have to go help put up Christmas decorations…. Sorry. Also, please review! And see the author notes on the top… please review; even those who don't have accounts (once again, SO srry, see top)

Press the little purple button and I'll give you a virtual cookie!


	6. Chapter 6

Naruto I own not. If I did, Neji would keep my ice cream cold with his glares.

* * *

Neji gave a mental sigh of relief as they landed at the party. _Jeez, that Kanako just HAD to complain the whole way here… REALLY… bitch bitch, moan moan, that's all you get from her… not a single 'Thank you for carrying me here, Neji'…_

**Oho… admit it! You are JEALOUS! **

_WHY would I be jealous?_

**Because KANAKO is taking up all of our attention!**

_Hn… 'OUR'? You're not Inner Neji!_

**Of course not! I'm Inner Tenten! Maybe losing Inner Neji will teach you to appreciate him more! Not that he's any better than I am!**

_What… the… fuck. OKAY, THIS IS TO FAR! I DEALT WITH INNER NEJI, BECAUSE AT LEAST HE IS PART OF ME! I'M NOT DEALING WITH YOU!_

Everyone stared at Neji.

"Umm… Neji?" Tenten whispered, "Maybe you shouldn't think out loud…"

"Ya, dumbass!" Kanako agreed.

"Hn…" Neji appeared cool and calm on the outside, but inside he was crawling into a hole.

Tenten covered for him.

"Well… you can see… I bought sake and beer… and Neji has already started on them, so hurry up!"

Neji gave her a look of gratitude. _I owe her one…_

Everyone's attention had been drawn away from Neji and to the beer and sake that Tenten had mysteriously pulled out of her pack. **(AN: Plot hole! XD)**

Everyone madly rushed for the alcohol, intent on getting it first. After all, it's not often a ninja got to drink. So they resorted to using tai and other jutsus to beat their opponents.

Unfortunately, Kanako happened to be standing right next to the sought after drink.

"KANAKO!" Tenten yelled as Naruto, who was at the head of the crowd at the moment, barreled toward her.

**SAVE HER YOU BASTARD!** Inner Tenten screamed into Neji's mind.

_Well… I do owe her for covering my ass back there… _

So, jumping forward and activating Byakugan, he prepared to kick the ass of every other ninja there.

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AN: Another short chappie… sorry, I have to practice my flute for band class .

Much love- Suki-chan

Please review!!


	7. Chapter 7

Naruto I own not. If I did, Ayame would always make my Ramen for me.

SO sorry, but I lack the skills for a fight scene… so be prepared to be disappointed.

* * *

And so, jumping forward and activating Byakugan, he prepared to kick the ass of every other ninja there.

He was disappointed.

Everyone stopped where they stood/balanced.

"Oi, Neji… you can go first…" said Naruto cautiously (for once).

Kiba fell off of Shino's back.

* * *

Meanwhile, Tenten and Kanako escaped from their tedious potion between the ninjas and the alcohol. _Boy… is he THAT threatening? _Tenten thought.

**We sure are.**

_Umm…. Inner Tenten? _

**Hn. Try again. Inner Neji.**

_If you are… Inner Neji… shouldn't you be… inside Neji?_

**Hn.**

_Yep. You're just like him, all right. Well, you may be less annoying than Inner Tenten…_

… **Probably. But now poor Outer Neji is stuck with Inner Tenten…**

_Oh…Kami-sama…. HE IS?_

**I know… I only agreed to this plan so that he would learn to appreciate me, and you would get a break… I feel for you.**

_Thanks for the sympathy… hey! Neji doesn't sympathize!_

**We Inners are different than our outer selves… for example, you are not nearly as annoying as Inner Tenten**.

_I should hope not! But I think I get it…. Anyway, when are you going to switch back?_

**Hn… don't know.**

…

**…**

…

**…**

_What a conversation we are having… you are truly like Neji in some ways…._

**Of course. I AM Neji.**

_But you said…. Oh, forget it…_

* * *

Kanako watched as her little sister seemed to space out. _Jeez, she sure does that a lot! And what is up with that blind friend of hers? Mother won't be happy to hear that she hangs around with a MAN all the time! She doesn't seem to have any proper FEMALE friends… maybe I should have told her about Ayako… hmp. No way. That bitch Ayako always took Mother's attention! Just like Tenten took Father's…. all in all, it was better before we found Ayako again… I got full attention, I was the only one… why do I have to be the middle sister? And only by like ten minutes! It's just not fair! _

A drunken Kankuro interrupted her sulk.

"Ay… wuz up, gurlfrend?"

"Um… nothing." She said, distastefully eyeing the half-empty sake bottle in his hands. _He's already drunk? How long have I been lost in thought? _She looked around. The sun was already setting! (AN: Plot hole!)

Suddenly an idea struck her. _I'm gonna go get mom right now… I wonder what she'll think to find her 'precious little girl' at this kind of party! _

So laughing, she got up and began to walk, leaving a swaying Kankuro behind.

Behind her, the flaming sun slid below the purple-tinted horizon, deceivingly calm.

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AN: I didnt upload yesterday. I was lazy. Also, you only get 3 chappies a day on the weekend. Sorry. On weekdays, i write when i feel like it. But at the BARE minimium, i can give a chappie every other day. XD

ALSO: please... take three freakin seconds and write a reveiw... that's fair! I wrote this chappie for you, surely you can give me three seconds of your time.


	8. Chapter 8

**AN:** Finally! I finally got 30 reviews! HELL YAZ! Well, special thanks to those who reviewed, and yes, TenTenHyugaX, that will count as a review! Anything counts, as long as it is at least three words! Even nonsense like, Urg Blad Shida! Just let me know you read it!

Notice: I don't own Naruto. If I did, Tsunade would get a better bra. Seriously….

* * *

Seiko sat calmly on the rock she used as a chair, watching the sunset. She absently pushed her mass of red-brown hair away from her eyes. They were the same as her Kanako's were, sky blue. 

_She always looked like me… her and Ayako both…._

_Only my sweet Tenten looked like Yasuo…._

She heard footfalls behind her. She rose and gracefully spun around, facing the town. _Konoha, wasn't it called?_

Half expecting to see Tenten, her mind tried to project Tenten's image on the face of her middle daughter.

Kanako gave a wide smile, and then her expression changed to a concerned one.

"Mother! I found my _darling _little sister!" Kanako said.

_Something's up, _Seika thought to herself. Even in the mind of Kanako's own mother, Kanako was just an all over selfish person. _Sometimes I wish that she would just stop talking to people…No. That kind of thought is not good._

After all, the woods would be very quiet if no birds sang except the best.

"Mother! Are you even LISTENING?" Kanako said harshly. "As I was SAYING, I think my sweet little sister has fallen in among some bad people! She was at a party with MEN, and they were DRINKING!"

Seiko frowned. _Hmm… that isn't well. If Kanako is telling the truth…_

_No. I'm sure that it is a perfectly safe party. If she knows the men there well, It's perfectly safe…and everyone drinks… _

_Still, I should check it out. _She took a step forward and looked to Kanako.

"Where is this party?"

* * *

Tenten surveyed the damage done by the party. _Okay, not too bad. A couple of trees broken, some trash… _

She looked at the people. At this point, everyone but her and Neji were stammering drunk, except for Hinata, who had gone home, along with Temari and Sasuke, who were randomly looking cool.

Naruto, Kiba, and the males of the sand siblings seemed to be engaged in some sort of shirtless tribal dance. Shino and Shikamaru were having a loud discussion about fairies with Ino and Sakura.

"I'm telling you, fairies DO exist!" Shino said.

Shikamaru nodded violently. "I tell you, they come and put me to sleep when I am supposed to be working!"

Ino glared. "I have to side with forehead girl on this one, fairies are absolutely NOT real!! You're just a lazy ass!"

Tenten moved her head from the tree trunk where she was watching. She glanced at Neji.

"Hn… maybe we should make them stop… it's getting disturbing…" he said, motioning towards the tribal dance now circling the fire.

Tenten suddenly grinned real wide. "Or…we could practice our blackmailing skills…I did bring a camera…"

Neji nodded ever so slightly. "It should help our espionage skills…" They got up and Tenten began to photograph everyone, except for Temari and Sasuke, who decided to be in on it.

And so Seiko found her youngest daughter.

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AN: There we are. Okay, this time, no update until 38 reviews! Enjoy! Oh, and thanks to **Naima**, my only anonymous reviewer! Even though I must tell her that "I must advice" her to work on her grammar… and shove the request for longer chappies up her ass!

Press the little purple button…it is calling you… calling you… you know you want to!!


	9. Chapter 9

_This BETTER not be what it looks like. _Seiko thought as she pounced through the desolated clearing and caught , feeling a twist of rage in her belly.

She slipped through the trees with the grace of a much younger woman.

Suddenly she paused. _Footsteps… quiet but there… _A girl appeared in front of her. She was wearing a purple skirt and…. FISHNETS!! And on top of that, she was holding a giant FAN!!

_Stripper! IS THAT FAN A…. _(AN: I want to keep it T, so…perverts like myself can think it up)

"Who are you?" said the stripper, and before Seiko knew it, she had a huge wind from the fan pinning her to the tree.

"I am Seiko. Tenten and Kanako's mother." Seiko responded fiercely.

"Hmp. I am Temari, from Suna…. The Kazecage's (sp?) older sister."

"The Kazecage's sister is a stripper??" Seiko said in disbelief.

"STRIPPER???!!!!!" Temari's voice rang through the forest to where Neji, Tenten, and Sasuke were standing.

* * *

"……… Why did Temari just scream 'stripper'?" Tenten said with a weird expression on her face.

"……." Sasuke "replied".

"Hn….." Neji "added".

They all reached for the camera, and the three hands met.

**YOU GUYS ARE SOOOO BORING!!!!**

"WHAT THE HELL??" Neji cried.

"What? You can hear her, too??" Tenten yelped.

"WTF? What is that voice?" Sasuke said, looking thoroughly creeped out.

**TEHEHEHE! WE INNERS HAVE MORE POWERS THAN YOU COULD EVER IMAGINE! evil laughter**

"…"

"…"

"…?"

**COWER IN FEAR! FOR NOW ALL THAT TOUCH TENTEN MAY HEAR MY ALMIGHTY VOICE!**

This being Sasuke's first time hearing the Inner, he shuddered. _I should have gone with Orochimaru…. _(AN: In my story, Sasuke stayed in Konoha and refused to go)

**OROCHIMARU IS SOOO NOT AS COOL AS ME!! KAMI-SAMA, HE LIKES TO MOLEST BOYS WITH CURSEMARKS JUST LIKE MICHEL JACKSON!!**

"Who's Michel Jackson… ?" Tenten said with a sigh.

**Oh…. Just a singer from the world where Inners go when they are rejected… can you believe it? Most of them don't remember their Outers, and the ones who do get locked up in padded cells…**

Neji, Tenten and Sasuke shivered.

"Hiashi-sama would enjoy sending me there, I bet…." Said Neji angrily.

"Do you HAVE to blame EVERYTHING on him?" Tenten said with a glare that rivaled Neji's own.

Sasuke backed away slowly. _It's just like Naruto and Sakura…_

* * *

Hiashi sneezed, again. _Argh… I wish people would stop talking about me…. Really…. _

_But my plan is almost ready. _

He picked up the phone. "Yasuo? Yes, this is Hiashi Hyuuga…yes, from Konoha..."

* * *

AN: Time to show Hiashi's plan! Anyone catch the significance of the name? And I made it a lil longer… 2 pages in full, not 1.5… I CAN PI YOU A THOUSAND PLACES!!

OKAY, this time I want **48** reviews, so lick…. I MEAN click… the little purple button!

If you do, you can have a pony ride!!

INNER ME: That's not a good offer! Everyone has ridden a pony before...

ME: Well, not a VIRTUAL pony...

* * *

**Return to Top**


	10. Chapter 10 for real

"WHAT THE HELL?" Seiko lost her cool, collected air when she walked into the clearing and….

WHAT DID SHE SEE?

"MY FUCKING OWN DAUGHTER IS STANDING IN A CLEARING ALONE WITH TWO MEN AND A FUCKING CAMERA!" she shrieked.

Tenten's eyes widened. The camera slipped out of her hands, and Sasuke rushed to catch it.

"M-mother?" She said slowly. Her mouth opened and closed as if she were looking for what to say. Her mother gaped. Her rage melted away as she finally realized whom she was talking to. Then it visibly flared again.

**Oh. SHIT. This is not good. Time for damage control.**

The two shinobi and single kunochi flinched when they heard Inner Tenten.

_Get. Out. Of. My. HEAD! _Neji thought. The others blinked when they heard his thought.

_HEY! You aren't Gary! _Thought Sasuke with dismay. Neji then proceeded to mentally whack his rival ninja with a mallet.

_You have a damage control plan?_ Tenten asked/thought, ignoring the shinobi's antics.

**Yes… and it just might work… Okay. Which boy is more solitary?**

_Sasuke lives alone…I don't like where this is going…_

**NO! That is NOT the plan, unless you think you can get Sasuke to kiss you…?**

_HELL NO!_

**Just ASKING. Cool it! Okay… just say… what I want you to say.**

_Why should I trust you?_

**Do YOU have any other plan?**

_Fine…_

"Mother…. It's not at all what it looks like! It is actually kind of a funny misunderstanding…" Tenten took a breath, and plunged.

"You see…. Sasuke here is like a brother to me! We grew up together. He was the only family I had until now." She discreetly gave Sasuke a look that said, "You make a fuss, you DIE."

Seiko looked at Sasuke. He nodded.

"Hmmm…. So you know him well, ne?"

"Yes…" Tenten replied with relief.

_She's buying it! This is gonna work!_

**Of course. But we still have to cover Neji.**

"But who is this other boy, and why a camera?" She asked, calming down. "Kanako said that there was a party..?"

"Yes! There was a reunion. And Sasuke, Neji, and I were told to take pictures of EVERTHING! This is just a little prank, you see." Tenten said coolly.

"And who is this Neji? The blind one?"

Everyone winced.

"Umm… He's not blind. Maybe an introduction…?"

Seiko nodded.

"Okay. Mother, this is Uchiha Sasuke. Sasuke, this is my mother."

Seiko offered a hand, and Sasuke, for once, politely shook it.

"And… Mother, this is Hyuuga Neji. Neji, my mother."

Seiko stared. _A Hyuuga? Surely they are of a rank too high to fuss about with the likes of us!_

Remembering her manners, she bowed to Neji. Looking up, she saw irritation on Hyuuga-sama's face.

"Excuse my ignorance, Hyuuga-sama…" she said politely.

"Hn… I'm not high ranked… so no sama…and get up." He said. Tenten stared. For Neji, that was a mouthful.

"So… how do you know Hyuuga-sam… san?" Seiko asked Tenten.

"He practically lives with Sasuke. Plus he was on my Genin team."

For once Seiko smiled. "So… you **are** a kunochi." Her smile widened. "Your father will be **SO** happy! He was worrying you wouldn't understand ninjas…"

"What do you mean by that…?" Tenten said.

"…Nothing…. Nothing at all." Seiko replied. "Come on. You're staying at Uchiha-san's house, ne?"

_NO!!_

**Say yes.**

_HELL NO!!_

**DO IT! It's MY skin you're putting in danger! Uchiha doesn't bite. Your mother DOES! **

_Awww shit…. What am I getting myself into with this…_

"…Yes."

"Good. Then I'll drop you off." Seiko said. "Lead the way, Uchiha."

_Hn… Tenten alone with Sasuke? At his house? _Neji thought. _No. Fucking. Way. _He mentally winced. _Maybe "fucking" wasn't the right word to use..._

"I was coming, too, remember?" Said Neji.

Tenten stared gratefully at him. Sasuke's eyes held thanks and… something…else. Some kind of regret.

"Okay... let's go!" Said Seiko brightly.

* * *

Sasuke opened the door to his house.

"Thanks Mom!" Said Tenten cheerfully. Neji entered the apartment, and closed the door after Tenten.

They all let out a sigh of releif, sliding to the ground.

"That… was…. close…." said Sasuke.

"Way too close…" Neji added.

Tenten stared. "You two sure are talking a lot…"

They glared at her.

Neji growled, "Don't tell a soul…"

Tenten sweat dropped.

Then she noticed something. The apartment was small. Very small. As in, only one bed.

_Shit. _Tenten didn't mind sharing a bed, even with a man, but three people in one bed? It was going to be RIDICULUS…

"Food?" Sasuke interuppted her thoughts, holding out onigiri.

"That looks good…" Tenten asked. She forgot her dismay, looking at the pretty food.

"Arigato. I made it this morning." Sasuke said.

Neji looked up. "You cook?"

"I have to… no one else to do it for me…"

_Aww… poor Sasuke…_ Tenten thought.

"I also knit as a hobby." Sasuke said.

Neji and Tenten sweat dropped.

"Neji… IS HE WEARING A THONG?" Tenten cried. "IF HE IS, I DECLARE HIM GAY!"

They laughed. When they were finished, Neji looked up.

"No… I made sure a looong time ago he wasn't wearing a thong…"

They laughed more.

_Jeez . . . these prodigies melt a lot around each other for some reason…maybe… they are both gay??"_

As the night passed, Tenten convinced herself that.

* * *

AN: OMFG I'm soo sorry I haven't updated it forever! It won't happen again! I had a hella case of writer's block… thank Kattylin! She broke my writer's block!

And to Kattylin: **Arranged marriage:** Hell yes. **Sasu/Saku: **Hell NO. **Lemon/Lime: **I will try, but I am 13 years old…. So obviously I lack experience.

PS: I'll try to update again today… OH. THERE IS NO GAYNESS IN THIS STORY!! NONE. AT. ALL.


	11. Did you read chapter 10?

ARGH YOU GUYS I UPDATED HELLO! AND NOT ONE REVEIW! did you not notice? or you might be mad..

. i understand i suck!! srry! (and cant update..at friend's house)


	12. Chapter 11

Seiko sighed.

"Yasuo, are you sure this is right? I met the people she has been closest to… they seem like nice guys!! On top of that, one is a UCHIHA, the other a -!"

Yasuo looked up. His brown eyes and hair lacked their usual playfulness, and there were lines of determination in his face. He sharply interrupted her.

"Yes, I know … Uchiha means bloodline. But… even if we can convince one of the boys…. Their families will never have her. No matter who they are."

Seiko stood up angrily. "So you plan to give away our daughter to some out-branch of some random clan? They might just be commoners! Besides, wasn't the Uchiha clan wiped out a while back? That means no family to argue!"

"Seiko, LISTEN. We NEED forgiveness for faking our deaths! And if Tenten could-!"

"YOU LISTEN, Yasuo. She is our youngest daughter! I say we offer her to that Uchiha boy. It is a win-win thing! The boy and her are friends anyway, we can plead immunity on the grounds that we are the relatives of one of the only members of the Uchiha clan!"

"But-!" he exclaimed, then was interrupted.

"NO BUTS. We WILL give Tenten to the Uchiha. We can make a deal with the Hokage!"

"But Tenten said he was a brother to her!! THAT'S INCEST!" he said in a pleading tone.

"Humph. Did you REALLY think I bought that excuse? She is OBIOUSLY warm for his form!" (AN: My parents like to use that expression… . )

"Alright. Fine. But if that doesn't work out, we are doing it my way." Yasuo finally stated. _I never could say no to my wife…. _he thought, rubbing his forehead.

* * *

"SASUKE!! Hey, man, you up?" 

_GOD DAMMIT! WHO THE HELL? _Tenten's mind screamed.

She looked around. It all came back in a flash as she saw Sasuke and Neji. She made a face, seeing that in their sleep both shinobi had turned facing her and stretched their arms out.

One of Sasuke's arms was across her belly, the other rested on her waist. The arm that Neji wasn't laying on was draped across her shoulders and neck.

_Hmph. As long as I can't move, I might as well sleep more…_

With that, she went back to sleep.

* * *

"Argh…Sasuke-teme… well, fine then!! I'm going to go get SAKURA-chan and invite her into YOUR house!!" 

He waited a moment for a response. Nothing.

_Hmm… noon? Sakura-chan should be on her break around 1:20… heheh. Sasuke-teme will never know what hit him_.

* * *

Tenten…. Wake up…." Tenten's happy dreams were interrupted by Neji's voice as he threw open the curtains. 

"Mmph? Nah…. Let me sleep some more…." She mumbled sleepily into the pillow.

"Tenten…" Neji said, "It's 1:00."

"Neji-KUN…." She said, being absolutely adorable and putting much emphasis on the "-kun". She nestled closer to the nice, firm, shifting pillow.

"TENTEN…" Sasuke said sharply.

She opened one eye. _Oh…that was Sasuke…that explains the movement…oh well…. I'm sleepy._

"Tenten, get OFF me." Sasuke said harshly.

"Hmmm… no… you make a real nice pillow, so shut up…Neji-kun, close the curtains…"

Even as he winced at the "-kun", he shut the curtains. Then he lay down on the floor. _No way I'm getting in bed with Tenten like that… _he thought sagely.

"Ugh…Hyuuga, get up here… no way you can let me sleep alone with your psychotic teammate…" Sasuke pleaded.

About to refuse, Neji followed his previous train of thought. _Tenten and Uchiha? No fucking way… Besides, Uchiha is practicaly BEGGING._

"Hn." He got up from the floor and settled back into the over-stuffed bed.

* * *

"Saaaaaaaasuke-kuuuuuuunnn!!" cried Sakura. "I'm heeeerrreee!! Are you STILL sleeping?" 

She walked up to his bedroom door. "I hope you're dressed, 'cuz I'm coming in!"

She turned the hardwood door's polished doorknob.

* * *

Okay! Did you guys like that? I didnt really, so I was nervous about updating...it was all cliche fluff... winces SORRY for the slow update. I just didn't have the time... and on top of that, today we are having all kinds of power outs so my computer keeps turning off... 

Anyway...

Click the purple button... if not, it KNOWS where you live!


	13. Chapter 12

Sasuke floated in dark oblivion. Little panda bears crunching on bamboo surrounded him.

_AWWWWW, how cute! _He thought to himself. _I'm glad I bought these… WAIT. _

_What the fuck? I didn't buy these! Is this a dream? _

Looking around at the adorable panda bears, he frowned. He had this dream before, and the same thing always happened! And he always remembered he was dreaming…

_This time, I think I'll turn them into a mansion…or a hot tub…that sounds good…_

Then it started. From the shadows of his dreamworld, a giant weasel and eight black and white falcons appeared. The weasel tried to attack the pandas, and the falcon tried to carry them away!

He snickered. _The weasel is a hot tub! The birds all disappear! _

He concentrated HARD on making those things happen.

But they didn't.

The weasel began to laugh hysterically, and one of the falcons stepped forward.

"You can't do that anymore!" It screeched, and then joined in the mad laughter.

Screaming filled the air, ringing through Sasuke's brain.

He realized that the screaming was his own.

_Wait…no it's not!_

He opened his eyes quickly.

"SASUKE-KUN! WAKE UP-!"

Ugh... Haruno...

He looked up at her.

"What? Tell me what it is that has so graciously stopped your squawking." He said coldly.

"T-Tenten-c-han? W-what are y-you doing here?" Sakura said.

Sasuke blinked, just then remembering Tenten was there. He looked at her, sleeping happily in-between the lump in the sheets that was Neji and Sasuke himself.

**

* * *

Heh! Why don't you play with Sakura a bit? inserted Inner Tenten.**

_Aww crap… I'd thought you finally left…. Anyway, why are you in MY head?_

**I TOLD you before…anyway, we can talk later.**

_Fine. Maybe I will play a little…_

* * *

"A-and… you are g-getting a little b-big, Tenten…" Sakura's voice was an octave higher than even it's normal pitch.

"What?" said Tenten, who had apparently woken up. "Oh, that's Neji-kun…"

Sakura broke.

"WHAT THE-! HOLY GOD!" She shrieked when Tenten pulled the sheets down so Neji was visible.

"NEJ I AND TENTEN? IN SASUKE'S BED? AT ONE THIRTY? WITH SASUKE STILL IN IT???? AHHH TENTEN YOU WHORE!!! WHAT WERE YOU DOING??"

Tenten was about to explain, but Sasuke interrupted.

"I suppose it depends on what you think people are usually doing in bed at one thirty…" he said, playing with Sakura. _Of course, I mean sleeping…_

"Hn… It was good, too." Neji added, happy to mock the disliked pink hair. _I mean the sleep, naturally…_

Before Tenten could correct them, Sakura ran out of the house screaming her head off.

"AHH!! HOLY NINJA GOD!!! HOLY JACKIE CHAN!!!"

Tenten leapt out of bed.

"You idiots! It was funny as shit, but…" She sighed. "Never mind… just hurry up and get dressed. We can all train together today."

Tenten took the time for a nice warm shower. _Ah… how come Sasuke's house has better water pressure than mine does? _

**Hmm. If you enjoy it so much, why not move in? **

_Hey… what's that supposed to mean?_

**What does it sound like?**

_It SOUNDS wrong._

**Exactly my point. You do know that polygamy is illegal in Konoha…?**

Tenten's eye twitched as she left for the training ground after the shinobi.

She had no idea how much that would happen to her that day.

* * *

okay...another crappie chapter. is it just me or are my chapters jumpy? anyway, its really hard to type with constant blackouts...

I did this really fast, because i love pie!!! DONT TAKE IT AWAY!!

Press the purple button...or... I WILL SET THE FANGIRLS ON YOU!


	14. Chapter 13

Underline means translation from prodigy language.

* * *

Tenten stalked through the wide-open streets of Konoha. Focusing her attention on keeping up with the two prodigies in front of her, she failed to notice the whispering of the local women.

"I heard that she…." Whispered a woman in a blue shawl to her friend, pausing when Tenten walked by.

_Huh. Something must have happened. I wonder what the rumor is about?_

Looking up, she cursed as she nearly ran into Kakashi. He neatly swerved to avoid running into her.

"Hello there, Tenten!" he said with smile…as far as she could tell. _Stupid mask..._

Then he winked. " I heard…I had no idea you were into that kind of thing… here you go, this might… INSPIRE you…." He said, handing her a small bag with some kind of book inside.

_Must be a training book! _

"Thanks, Kakashi-san!" She refused to use "sensei".

With a nod, he walked away. She thoughtfully looked at the book.

**You're losing them. **Chimed in Inner Tenten.

She looked up. "Awwww…. SHIT."

She was WAY losing them. She broke into a run, shoving the book into her lunch by mistake.

"HEY! WAIT UP!"

* * *

Neji silently walked beside Sasuke. A bubble cleared in their path, as no one wanted to cross the two notorious prodigies.

"Where do you want to train?" Sasuke asked, still walking.

"Hn." Let's go where you train. (AN: In case you missed it, underline means translation from prodigy)

"Hn." Replied Sasuke. All right, It's this way. He moved off to the right.

Neji nodded and followed Sasuke.

Then he stopped.

"Hn?" Where is Tenten?

Sasuke stopped.

"We lost her…"

"AWWWW…. SHIT! WAIT UP!" Tenten's voice called.

Three way training filled the hours until the sky was black.

"Ugh…. I'm hungry…" said Tenten, throwing a kunai to mark a break in sparring.

"Eat your lunch."

She glared at him. "Neji, it's way too late for lunch!"

The argument commenced.

* * *

Jiraiya shifted in his tree. _Tehehe. Since Tenten sounds SO inspiring, I think I'll watch for a bit._

He leaned forward so he could actually hear.

"Neji! Please?" Tenten said.

"No! Do it yourself."

"You know I can't do that!"

"Well, I'm not going to." Neji said.

"Well, if you won't, I'm sure Sasuke would be more than happy! Right, Sasuke?" Tenten chimed.

"I guess so… " said Sasuke.

There was the sound of a zipper.

"Here…" said Sasuke. "But hurry up."

Jiraiya's nose bled.

* * *

Tenten grinned. _I wish I hadn't forgotten my money… It's kind of embarrassing to have to beg Neji to borrow his wallet… good thing Sasuke had his, though it is beyond me why he keeps his wallet in his pocket while training….well, I guess the pocket WAS zipped…_

Running through town, she headed for Ichiraku Ramen.

* * *

Sasuke and Neji sat silently on the cool green grass.

"I wonder… what that book is…" Sasuke said, staring at Tenten's backpack.

Neji looked. The both stared at the brown wrapped book for a minute.

"It's probably… her diary." said Sasuke.

"But, it could be an enemy trick… I should read it, and make sure it is safe…" Neji said.

"I should read it…after all, you are better to relay the message to her if I am injured.." Sasuke replied.

"I am her teammate." Neji argued.

They glared at each other for a minute, and then lunged for the book.

The brown paper tore away.

* * *

Alrighty! Oh, you guys? I think that I want the final pairing to be NejiXTen. Also, I'm not sure on this, but I think also SasuXHina?

If you press the blue/purple button, you get three rifle shots at a dude dressed up like Barney!!


	15. Chapter 14

Tenten happily skipped through the broad streets, heading back toward the training grounds where she has left both her usual and unusual training partners.

Glancing down at the bento boxes she had purchased, she winced. Not EXACTLY her idea of a lovely dinner, but…

SASUKE WAS POOR!

Seriously, didn't he have a job or something-

Staring at the training ground in front of her, a horrified scream tore from her lips.

* * *

Neji stared at the book.

_Icha Icha?? Tenten reads these things? _

He felt anger in the pit of his stomach.

_One of MY teammates… still. I cannot let Uchiha learn Tenten's secret. I do not think he's recognized it yet…_

* * *

Sasuke stared at the cover of the novel that was so familiar to him.

_Damn, does this book bring back memories of Kakashi…_

He blinked.

_Wait…Tenten wouldn't want Neji to know about her reading this…has he seen it yet?_

* * *

The shinobi's thoughts reached the same point in perfect unison-

_HE CAN'T SEE IT!_

They lunged for each other at the same time, accidentally flipping open the orange-covered book.

They were oblivious to the fact, of course, and continued to wrestle on the ground, being as quiet as possible so Tenten didn't hear and run faster towards them.

A sudden scream tore the air.

* * *

Tenten stared at the shinobi before her. They were entwined on the ground, in about the same position she could see in the open Icha Icha book beside them.

THEY ARE GAY!!! OH MY GOD!!

"O-oh… I'M SO S-SORRY!!! I'll leave now, sorry, sorry sorry…" she yelped, running towards her house as fast as she could.

The two prodigies on the ground just stared after her in horror.

* * *

Wow, it's been FOREVER since I updated, right? I just totally forgot about this story...gosh...I guess I thought that no one cared if I updated...sniff

But then Sailor Kunoichi showed that she wanted me to update! Huggles to her!!!!

Anyway, at least leave me SOME sort of review to show that you are even reading this still > Like, just leave a review that says "..." or something...


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